If you know me, then you know that I have a love affair with Spanx. More specifically the Higher Power line of Spanx. Real talk, those shits are magical -- they hold in back fat, belly jiggle, and extra thigh meat at the same damn time. Why wouldn't a girl enjoy those? I've been wearing them for 7 years now religiously. In my early days of Spanxdom I even wore them when I worked out. Don't judge me. Now I'm not the avid wearer who forsakes underwear because technically they can be worn as such...the open gusset in the crotch region allows for those trips to the bathroom for #1s without ever having to pull those things down. Truthfully, the thought of using the peehole in those things gives me anxiety like no other. I'm unbelievably clumsy in the moments when I need to be the least clumsy. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I tried to make some magic happen through that gusset.
But I digress. I went an entire Christmas break without wearing Spanx, and didn't really think twice about it. I may have thrown them on early during break when going out with the hubby, but I honestly don't recall. Thought about putting them on for church, but after fighting to get my second leg in and realizing that I hadn't done all of this work just to get clothes on during my entire Christmas break, I said forget it and tossed them aside, pulled on my clothes and headed out the door.
Not going to lie, I think I had a bit of anxiety at first, being separated from what has been my security blanket for the past 7 years. I really had to take a deep breath and tell myself that it was going to be okay. While walking with my hubby to get seats for church, I stated, "I'm not wearing Spanx." His response questioned whether this was declaration moving forward or just a statement for Sunday. At the time, I told him it was just for Sunday, but as I began to think about it, I realized that I could do it for longer. I have really let my Spanx be my crutch for the past 7 years, letting my weight fluctuate during that time, not thinking much about it when I purchased new Spanx in a size larger or smaller than the previous pair.
I've made the decision to not wear Spanx moving forward, at least not in the usual fashion. I think I may purchase a slip or two and foundations for whenever I wear dresses (but this doesn't happen often, and probably won't happen during the winter), but it won't be an every day thing anymore. This means a lot less clothing that holds onto my belly and the possible shopping spree for more button ups and sweaters. It definitely means that I'll be in the gym, because I have to get this jiggle off of me, once and for all. I started working out again over break, and it felt good. I'm just going to have to work pretty damn hard. It took a long time for me to get to this point, it's going to take some time for me to get smaller.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Monday, January 2, 2012
2011 in Review: Some things I learned about Nayesha A. Pruitt Part II
Yesterday I started a list of the things that I learned about myself. You can check it out here before you read this one...
11. Working, being a mother/wife, and going to school is definitely possible.
After almost a year of being at home with my son, I started working and going to school at the same time. Whew! It has definitely been an experience, but I wouldn't trade it for the world, and I know that I will be able to tell my children that they can achieve all of their dreams, not just with words, but by example.
12. I don't need to explain everything to everyone.
Sometimes I've felt that in order for people to "get" me, that I need to automatically explain every decision that I make. I've especially felt this way when I tell someone something about my life and get a confused look in response. Like I said before, not everyone is going to get me.
13. I am extremely blessed.
I celebrated both my son's first birthday and my third year of marriage in November. I also have been blessed to have such a supportive family. My mother, grandmother, friends, husband, sisters and mother-in-love are some of the most awesome people that I could have been blessed with the ability to call family.
14. The past is the past for a reason. Learn from the mistakes, but don't hold on to any of it.
I've realized that alot of my extended family (as well as immediate) live in the past. They talk about the good times, their faces light up when they talk about a moment in their lives where they felt they were on top of the world, but in the present, they are lost. I refuse to just exist or get by, to be subjected to only a certain way of life because I don't want more for myself. Too many dreams have not been brought to fruition. My children will know what it's like to have dreams and go for them wholeheartedly.
15. Blaming my parents for what they did or didn't do is for the birds.
I'm almost 30 years old, and in the past year I have heard multiple people (older than me, I might add) say that they have failed at various aspects of their lives because of something their parents failed to teach them. Really? My mom didn't teach me how to properly manage money, but I've learned. My dad didn't show me how a man was supposed to love his children or treat his wife, but I learned what I should and shouldn't accept from a man, both by trial and error and through observation. I just cringe when I hear people blame their parents. To a certain extent, yes, our parents shape us into the people we become, by what they do and don't do, but at some point personal accountability has to come into play.
16. I will never make everyone happy.
This one is pretty self explanatory.
17. Family isn't relative.
Just because I share blood with someone doesn't make them my family. Biologically related, yes, but if there is no relationship, there just isn't a reason to call them family. I have plenty of family that I share DNA with, as well as the ones with which I don't. Either way, you know who you are, and I wouldn't trade you for anything.
18. I will never make everyone happy.
Had to reiterate that one for myself.
19. I'm my worst critic.
My time in grad school so far has really taught me that I need to give myself a break. There have been plenty of times when I thought that my work was sub par, only to get a perfect score on various assignments.
20. I must work on my seriously delayed sense of urgency.
When it comes to the things that I want to do and work, I'm on it. Those things that I know I have to do are another story. I'm workin' on it...
21. I used to care what others thought about me, especially certain people that I share DNA with, but now I could care less.
These folks have neither a heaven nor hell to put me in, nor have they made any type of significant contribution to my life (and I'm not talking about money). I should in no way rely on their opinions when they won't be there with me when I'm reaping all of the rewards of my hard work and dedication.
Have you learned anything about yourself in the last year? Do you see anything in my list that resembles your life? What do you do to get through your own obstacles?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2011 In review: Some things that I learned about Nayesha A. Pruitt Part I
There are alot of things learned in the past year, some of them funny, some sad, and some just plain asinine. Either way it goes, here's a list of things yours truly learned in the year 2011...
1. You can want better for others, but if they don't want it for themselves, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
This is a REALLY hard one for me. If you are truly someone that I care about, I definitely want you to succeed in everything that you do. What I've realized is that some folks are just stubborn, and no matter how persuasive I can be, sometimes I just need to leave it alone. Either they'll have their own epiphany or they won't.
2. There will be times that the choices that others make just won't make sense.
This kinda goes along with the previous learned lesson. What seems logical to me just doesn't hold the same kind of weight with others. I am growing as a person and learning to respond to things differently, which leads to my next point...
3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with emotions, but when making decisions, my emotions must be put on hold.
I'm just a very emotional person by nature. I cry when I'm upset, happy, all that jazz. In the past, I have let my emotions take over my judgement and handled situations horribly, instead of taking a moment to regroup and really think about what I needed to do. I've definitely learned--by watching others as well as in my own personal experiences--that emotion in the absence of logic is absolutely detrimental to my well being.
4. I've got to have me time.
As a mother, wife, student, friend, and all around awesome person, I can get caught up in taking care of everyone but myself. By the time I think of me, I'm burned out and all I want to do is put my head on a pillow. Rest is necessary, but I also need time to recharge, whether it be at the gym, drinks with friends, or just a quiet drive to nowhere in particular.
5. I've got to be careful who I call friend.
I've done alot of self evaluation regarding the company I've kept in the past, and I realize that some folks to which I gave the title of "friend" were no more than acquaintances. At the same time, I recognize that people grow and go in different directions, and sometimes this changes the people that you hang out with, but there are other people who just really didn't belong in your circle in the first place. I don't expect to talk to people everyday, but there are those that, no matter where our lives have taken us have remained permanent fixtures in my life. There are others who have always been selfish and self serving, and those are the ones that have been eliminated. Just like in my professional life, I will make more than one attempt to reach out, but I'd be a dummy to continue to contact you if you never call back or take some initiative to call me. If you've blamed the failure of our relationship on my marriage, yet haven't reached out to call me since before I even said "I do," I'm probably talking about you.
6. No matter what I do, my son is going to find a way to put his hands down my shirt and squeeze. If you're a woman and you hold him, he will do this to you as well.
He's one years old, hasn't been breast fed in months, but the boy loves the mammary glands.
Don't be fooled by this handsome face and big brown eyes. This boy is a ninja when it comes to getting in a woman's shirt. I pray that he grows out of it soon...
7. I don't myself enough credit.
I'm pretty awesome, bottom line. It has taken me almost 29 years to realize this, but I'm sure of it now. You can't convince me of anything differently, so please don't try.
8. All of the things that I want, I can have. All the things that I want to do, I can.
I get caught up in the thought of a thing so much some times that I never execute the plans to reach my goals or obtain the things that I want. My brain is wired to think, examine, and re-examine just in case I missed something. It has kept me from plenty, but not anymore.
9. Everyone doesn't have to "get" me.
Not everyone understands me, and that's cool. I don't always understand myself. Not everyone is going to understand my dreams or the journey that I take in order to achieve those dreams, and that's cool as well.
10. Those that do get me can't always go with me.
No matter how much I succeed and grow, not everyone can go with me. It's not because I don't want them to go, sometimes they just don't belong on the same path as me, no matter how much I want them to be. They may have their own path, or they may need to pave that path for themselves.
I'm going to stop here, as this post turned out being longer than I expected. Check in tomorrow for Part II of 2011 in review...
1. You can want better for others, but if they don't want it for themselves, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
This is a REALLY hard one for me. If you are truly someone that I care about, I definitely want you to succeed in everything that you do. What I've realized is that some folks are just stubborn, and no matter how persuasive I can be, sometimes I just need to leave it alone. Either they'll have their own epiphany or they won't.
2. There will be times that the choices that others make just won't make sense.
This kinda goes along with the previous learned lesson. What seems logical to me just doesn't hold the same kind of weight with others. I am growing as a person and learning to respond to things differently, which leads to my next point...
3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with emotions, but when making decisions, my emotions must be put on hold.
I'm just a very emotional person by nature. I cry when I'm upset, happy, all that jazz. In the past, I have let my emotions take over my judgement and handled situations horribly, instead of taking a moment to regroup and really think about what I needed to do. I've definitely learned--by watching others as well as in my own personal experiences--that emotion in the absence of logic is absolutely detrimental to my well being.
4. I've got to have me time.
As a mother, wife, student, friend, and all around awesome person, I can get caught up in taking care of everyone but myself. By the time I think of me, I'm burned out and all I want to do is put my head on a pillow. Rest is necessary, but I also need time to recharge, whether it be at the gym, drinks with friends, or just a quiet drive to nowhere in particular.
5. I've got to be careful who I call friend.
I've done alot of self evaluation regarding the company I've kept in the past, and I realize that some folks to which I gave the title of "friend" were no more than acquaintances. At the same time, I recognize that people grow and go in different directions, and sometimes this changes the people that you hang out with, but there are other people who just really didn't belong in your circle in the first place. I don't expect to talk to people everyday, but there are those that, no matter where our lives have taken us have remained permanent fixtures in my life. There are others who have always been selfish and self serving, and those are the ones that have been eliminated. Just like in my professional life, I will make more than one attempt to reach out, but I'd be a dummy to continue to contact you if you never call back or take some initiative to call me. If you've blamed the failure of our relationship on my marriage, yet haven't reached out to call me since before I even said "I do," I'm probably talking about you.
6. No matter what I do, my son is going to find a way to put his hands down my shirt and squeeze. If you're a woman and you hold him, he will do this to you as well.
He's one years old, hasn't been breast fed in months, but the boy loves the mammary glands.
Don't be fooled by this handsome face and big brown eyes. This boy is a ninja when it comes to getting in a woman's shirt. I pray that he grows out of it soon...
7. I don't myself enough credit.
I'm pretty awesome, bottom line. It has taken me almost 29 years to realize this, but I'm sure of it now. You can't convince me of anything differently, so please don't try.
8. All of the things that I want, I can have. All the things that I want to do, I can.
I get caught up in the thought of a thing so much some times that I never execute the plans to reach my goals or obtain the things that I want. My brain is wired to think, examine, and re-examine just in case I missed something. It has kept me from plenty, but not anymore.
9. Everyone doesn't have to "get" me.
Not everyone understands me, and that's cool. I don't always understand myself. Not everyone is going to understand my dreams or the journey that I take in order to achieve those dreams, and that's cool as well.
10. Those that do get me can't always go with me.
No matter how much I succeed and grow, not everyone can go with me. It's not because I don't want them to go, sometimes they just don't belong on the same path as me, no matter how much I want them to be. They may have their own path, or they may need to pave that path for themselves.
I'm going to stop here, as this post turned out being longer than I expected. Check in tomorrow for Part II of 2011 in review...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
"Niggas want the old me, buy the old album..."
For most of my life, I've felt like I've been a good friend. Not perfect, but good. I've had plenty of issues of my own, plenty of flaws, but I truly believe I'm as loyal as they come. I have also grown over the years, and the things that were once fun aren't anymore. Things that were once acceptable in my eyes have changed, and so has my behavior. My mentality has changed, my emotions have changed, and so has my spirituality.
In high school, I was the friend that lived the furthest away, yet would catch the bus/train in a heartbeat to spend time with my friends. And when my friends started driving, things were that much more simple.
When I started college, I knew that the relationships that I had before would change, while others would remain the same or grow. I became friends with high school classmates that I really didn't talk to until college. My circle of friends in college changed year after year until trial and error left me with a pretty solid group of friends. Even then, we had our differences, and every once in awhile someone was angry at someone else. Eventually most folks got over whatever their issues were and kept it moving. However, now I realize that no one ever really addressed issues. We argued, we stopped talking, we started talking again. That was the cycle.
I started to recognize this cycle after college, and made efforts to address issues whenever they arose. I can't say that I was consistent, but I tried. Myself, along with those that I was regularly in contact with definitely supported each other in alot of b.s. that in retrospect was incredibly unacceptable, unhealthy, and sometimes plain dangerous.
Personally, by the time I started dating who would eventually become my husband, I had been secretly spiraling out of control. I had seriously unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. I was hanging onto someone who was in no way healthy for me and would and never could be what I wanted him to be. I was standing on the fence of sanity and alcoholism. I had even thought about attempting what had failed in high school--killing myself.
Surrounded by friends and nowhere near happy.
We must realize that everyone goes through something in their lifetime that they would rather avoid. Some of the things we experience could have been avoided, but because of our own actions, we face obstacles. What we must remember is that we have no idea what the next person is going through, and if we are so self consumed with ourselves that we don't open our eyes to those around us, we may lose out on a blessing or a chance to minister to someone else. Honestly, if you can't be there for your friends, why do you even have them?
In the past few years, I have slowly grown to love myself and those things that make me so damn awesome. Despite my own issues, I tried to maintain relationships with people that for whatever reason didn't want to maintain a relationship with me. I made phone calls, texted, etc. What I can't do is stress myself out anymore trying to be friends to people who haven't been friends to me. I also can't be the old me, it isn't healthy. A few close family friends as well as friends from college/high school etc. told me that they were bothered by the fact that I got married so suddenly. Others told me that they wished I had at least had some type of celebration after we got married so that they could celebrate. Let me say that if any of what I have previously said applied to you, understand that there was no malice. I finally decided to do something for myself, without any outside influences.
I'm not saying that my getting married completed me, because completion is only something I can find within myself and God. But that man of mine, he saved me.
To those that supported my decision and were there for me, thank you. For those that haven't been around for whatever reason, you're missing out on a wiser, more sane, more balanced me. Maybe you just miss the old me and that's why you don't talk to me. Well as Jay-Z and the title of this post says...
The mentally and spiritually healthy me. Loving me!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Jill Scott's "Hear My Call"
So I haven't been as current on music as I would like to be. My old laptop went out back in 2007 and I never got it fixed. I've been using the hubby's personal and work laptops when they are available. Now I've got my MacBook, and I'm starting to download and listen to music much more frequently (as much I possibly can in the five days that I've had the Mac, lol). I came across Jill Scott's new song, "Hear My Call" a couple of days ago. Check out the lyrics below.
"Hear My Call"
[Verse 1]
Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and
[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.
[Verse 2]
I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...
[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please,
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.
God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please.
How many of us can actually acknowledge when a situation or a series of situations in our lives has angered us, changed us, made us cold, or as Jill put it burned you raw? Do we acknowledge that we need to reflect, regroup, and heal, or do we jump into other situations (relationships, jobs, etc.) with the same hang-ups?
I sure hope we are taking the time to reflect and heal...
Click here to check out the official video for the song.
"Hear My Call"
[Verse 1]
Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and
[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.
[Verse 2]
I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...
[Chorus]
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please,
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.
God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please.
How many of us can actually acknowledge when a situation or a series of situations in our lives has angered us, changed us, made us cold, or as Jill put it burned you raw? Do we acknowledge that we need to reflect, regroup, and heal, or do we jump into other situations (relationships, jobs, etc.) with the same hang-ups?
I sure hope we are taking the time to reflect and heal...
Click here to check out the official video for the song.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Baby Faith
Children--babies especially--can really teach you alot about faith. In the womb, towards the end of pregnancy, most babies position themselves upside down in the uterus, to make for an easy delivery for mom and a safe delivery for baby. They turn their backs to the world, turn upside down, and expect for SOMEONE to catch them when they make their debut into the world. What if we had that type of faith when it came to our lives? What if we ignored everything stacked against us, turned our backs to the world, and came out of our previous situation unharmed and safe? If we knew that someone would be there to catch us, would we be more inclined to have stronger faith?
My son has some of the best focus that I have seen in a long time. No matter where he is or what he is doing, if there is something he wants, he goes for it at all costs. He doesn't care if there's five feet of space between an object and the solid bed he may be sitting on, he doesn't care if you move an object a million times to keep it from him--he's going to find a way to get what he wants and needs.
When do we become so jaded by the world that we lose our focus, our will, our faith? When does constant rejection, disappointment and failure change our focus or make us lose it all together? When does the negativity in our lives give way to faithlessness?
At birth, we start off with an 'A' or 100% for faith, much like a demerit system might work in school. Our faith is full, because we have not yet experienced the world, and as babies, we come to expect being saved from a fall. With a demerit system, every time we misbehave or do something that warrants discipline, our 'A'--or points--decrease based on the behavior. Unfortunately for most, this seems to be how our faith works as well. As we grow and get older, failures and disappointment occur, and doubt sets in, leading to less and less faith.
I sure wish I had the focus of my son. I'd probably be working on a second or third (or fourth) graduate degree now. I wouldn't be taking so long to lose weight. The trunk of our car would probably be clean. But I can't do the could've, should've, would've game. I can only take this moment recognize my flaws, and move on from here.
How much further would you be if you had a little more faith, focus, and will?
Sidenote: I wrote this on Friday, July 8th. The funny thing is, my pastor touch on this on Sunday, July 10th. Funny, huh? God will definitely kick you in the butt to make sure you're paying attention, won't he?
My son has some of the best focus that I have seen in a long time. No matter where he is or what he is doing, if there is something he wants, he goes for it at all costs. He doesn't care if there's five feet of space between an object and the solid bed he may be sitting on, he doesn't care if you move an object a million times to keep it from him--he's going to find a way to get what he wants and needs.
Wanna know about focus? This kid sat like that for ten minutes because his pacifier fell through the leg of his walker. It was attached to his shirt by a string, so he knew it was there, he just couldn't see it. How often do we know what's at the end of our journey and we still lose focus?
When do we become so jaded by the world that we lose our focus, our will, our faith? When does constant rejection, disappointment and failure change our focus or make us lose it all together? When does the negativity in our lives give way to faithlessness?
At birth, we start off with an 'A' or 100% for faith, much like a demerit system might work in school. Our faith is full, because we have not yet experienced the world, and as babies, we come to expect being saved from a fall. With a demerit system, every time we misbehave or do something that warrants discipline, our 'A'--or points--decrease based on the behavior. Unfortunately for most, this seems to be how our faith works as well. As we grow and get older, failures and disappointment occur, and doubt sets in, leading to less and less faith.
I sure wish I had the focus of my son. I'd probably be working on a second or third (or fourth) graduate degree now. I wouldn't be taking so long to lose weight. The trunk of our car would probably be clean. But I can't do the could've, should've, would've game. I can only take this moment recognize my flaws, and move on from here.
How much further would you be if you had a little more faith, focus, and will?
Sidenote: I wrote this on Friday, July 8th. The funny thing is, my pastor touch on this on Sunday, July 10th. Funny, huh? God will definitely kick you in the butt to make sure you're paying attention, won't he?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Letter to My Five Years Ago Self...
Hey girl, it me. Well it's you, but it's me because we're the same person. I'm just 5 years older. You with me so far? Around this time in 2006 you decided to shave your head AND get a tattoo within a 4 day period, and your mom almost had a conniption. Don't worry, she got used to it all. Now, you're going on three years of having locs, and you still just have that one tattoo. Of course, you'd like more tattoos, but you're working on your financial responsibilities so you are being patient.
Congrats on graduating--I know it took you 5 years--but you finished. It wasn't easy, and you know you could've done better, but you finished what you started. Right now, you're working on getting into somebody's grad program, whether it be for Creative Writing or Social Work. All those things that you wanted to do, you are working on achieving them.
Now I know your relationship with your father pretty much sucks, mostly because you've never felt like he was a father. Well, you're going to have a real conversation with him, and you're going to tell him exactly how you feel. Even though he'll continue to make excuses, you have said all that you can and need to say, and you're at peace with the situation. You still talk to him from time to time, but you no longer roll your eyes when you see his number.
Let's get into what's going on with you in 2006. Your ass needs to find a job. You didn't look for anything before graduation, and you're going to get a job working for Victoria's Secret soon. You'll work for the company for over two years, have alot of headaches because of unnecessary drama that had nothing to do with you, and you're going to quit because you just don't want to deal with the bullshit anymore.
For the most part, the friends that you kick it with hard right now are not going to be around in five years. At least not like they used to be. Nothing happened, no one fell out or had an argument, you guys just grew apart. There will still be times when you guys get together, like weddings, baby showers and the such, but everyone has grown up and moved in different directions. You're still tight with Shaun and the rest of the guys, so I guess I should be more specific. Most of the relationships you had with other women have grown apart. You and Tabitha are still tight, she's actually one of the godparents of your son. Yeah, I said son. We'll get to that one in a minute.
You've got two more years with your great grandma. She's been a hilarious and informative part of your life. Her passing is going to hurt like shit, and when she first comes home from the hospital right before she passes, it's going to be hard as hell to go into her room and see her in that bed. Once you get in there, though, you're there everyday until she passes. She just may recognize you still because she smiles every time you walk into the room, and that makes you more comfortable. There's going to be a lot of drama once she passes, though, and your name is going to dragged through the mud by people that are supposed to be family. But since they have no idea about what's going on and have only assumed everything, fuck 'em. They never took the time to have a conversation with you or ask you anything, they only flung fallacious accusations your way because they don't know how to have an adult conversation.
As far as relationships go, I know they've been sucking it up. That last guy that you were really digging? He's going to start calling again. And he's going to try to work his way back in, even though he told you that you were too fat to be his girlfriend. You're going to get over that entire situation REAL quick when he starts telling you his philosophy on marriage. You're probably thinking why the hell didn't I get over him when he told me I was too fat? Well, you haven't discovered how worthy you are of love and a good relationship yet, so you subject yourself to bullshit in the mean time. The minute you stop dealing with him, you're going to meet a new guy. Your friend Terrence is going to tell you to run the minute you give him all the details on this new guy, and you didn't listen. He won't be The One either, you're going to get hurt, but you get over it.
Right now, your relationship with God is getting stronger. You'll never be perfect, but realizing that is the first step to getting where you need to be. You have a son. His name is Nesta, he's eight months old, and he's got the perfect combination of both you and his father. His father, your husband (yeah, take that one in, you got married before you turned thirty, surprise!) is a pretty awesome dude. Your last name is Pruitt now, as in Terrence Pruitt. Who knew that the man you'd marry would have been in your life for the last ten years? You always said that you believed that you had already met your husband, and you were correct. You had no way of knowing who your husband was, because you surely weren't looking to get married, but he came at the right time and the rest is history. You guys have been married for almost three years now. It's a pretty great relationship, and both of you realize that marriage takes work, so you work on your relationship every day.
So life didn't turn out too bad for you. You're growing as a woman, a wife, a mother, and a Christian. You are nowhere near where you were mentally back in 2006. You are much more stable, much more happy, much more of who you are supposed to be. Just hold on to your sanity a little bit longer and things are going to turn out for the better.
P.S. Your boobs still look awesome! ;-)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
It's Been a Long Time...
Hey there, good people! It has definitely been a long time since the last post, over a year I believe. Well, I'll be starting up the blog again soon, so expect great things! Be blessed.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Serious Writer's Block
Originally, I wasn't updating my blog because of personal things. I have yet to complete my Grad School application for Loyola University Chicago School of Social Work, I still need to make time to go to the gym, I need to make time to actually make dinner instead of my husband and I doing a drive-by dinner at your nearest eating establishment, blah blah blah. Now I'm having issues even coming up with topics to cover. At one point, I'd do a ton of blogs at once and just schedule them--I even have drafts/titles for some blogs that have never been started--but my brain has gone on blog hiatus. Hopefully I'll have something to share soon...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
More HIV/AIDS info
So I hope you have all taken the initiative and headed over to The Red Pump Project and checked out more stats on HIV/AIDS.
I like to think of myself as a woman who seeks knowledge, and for that, I am a strong advocate of getting out there and learning as much information about as many topics as possible. HIV/AIDS is one of those topics that I have always been adamant in regards to seeking out information. Looking at The Red Pump Project website, it breaks my heart to read the statistics regards minority women and HIV/AIDS. Alot of the information is not new to me, but it saddens me that women are disproportionately affected by this disease. Here are some more facts from the website. You can also go to The Center for Disease Control's website to get more facts as well.
HIV/AIDS & Minority Women
HIV/AIDS disproportionately affects minority women in the United States. According to the 2005 census, Black and Latina women represent 24% of all US women combined, but account for 82% of the estimated total of AIDS diagnoses for women in 2005. HIV is the:
*Leading cause of death for Black women (including African American women) aged 25–34 years.
*3rd leading cause of death for Black women aged 35–44 years.
*4th leading cause of death for Black women aged 45–54 years.
*4th leading cause of death for Latina women aged 35–44 years.
*The only diseases causing more deaths of women are cancer and heart disease
*The rate of AIDS diagnosis for Black women was approximately 23 times the rate for white women and 4 times the rate for Latina women
*In 2006, teen girls represented 39% of AIDS cases reported among 13–19 year-olds. Black teens represented 69% of cases reported among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 19%.
My sisters!!! Get tested! Protect yourselves! If you choose to participate in sexual activities, remember that it is both partners' responsibility to provide protection! We all know that sex is not the only way to contract HIV/AIDS, so in whatever you do, educate yourselves, protect yourselves, and make sure that you'll be around--DISEASE FREE--for your family and friends.
I like to think of myself as a woman who seeks knowledge, and for that, I am a strong advocate of getting out there and learning as much information about as many topics as possible. HIV/AIDS is one of those topics that I have always been adamant in regards to seeking out information. Looking at The Red Pump Project website, it breaks my heart to read the statistics regards minority women and HIV/AIDS. Alot of the information is not new to me, but it saddens me that women are disproportionately affected by this disease. Here are some more facts from the website. You can also go to The Center for Disease Control's website to get more facts as well.
HIV/AIDS & Minority Women
HIV/AIDS disproportionately affects minority women in the United States. According to the 2005 census, Black and Latina women represent 24% of all US women combined, but account for 82% of the estimated total of AIDS diagnoses for women in 2005. HIV is the:
*Leading cause of death for Black women (including African American women) aged 25–34 years.
*3rd leading cause of death for Black women aged 35–44 years.
*4th leading cause of death for Black women aged 45–54 years.
*4th leading cause of death for Latina women aged 35–44 years.
*The only diseases causing more deaths of women are cancer and heart disease
*The rate of AIDS diagnosis for Black women was approximately 23 times the rate for white women and 4 times the rate for Latina women
*In 2006, teen girls represented 39% of AIDS cases reported among 13–19 year-olds. Black teens represented 69% of cases reported among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 19%.
My sisters!!! Get tested! Protect yourselves! If you choose to participate in sexual activities, remember that it is both partners' responsibility to provide protection! We all know that sex is not the only way to contract HIV/AIDS, so in whatever you do, educate yourselves, protect yourselves, and make sure that you'll be around--DISEASE FREE--for your family and friends.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Oh, Women....
I think I'm on a roll with my womenfolk...
That is all.
So I was thinking about another situation that I know about amongst women. Have you ever noticed that women can mess something up really well when they're scared? I have a few friends that have been in relationships, and had someone on the side. Sex was not always involved in the situation when there was a side piece--some of these women just liked the attention that someone gave them, others really wanted to explore what else was out there in the dating world while keeping something close to home, and some really just wanted to have sex.
Let's explore these friends separately and more in depth...
1)Some of these women just liked the attention that someone gave them...
Everyone likes attention. The problem is when this attention costs someone a relationship. I had a friend who was living with her guy, thought she was going to marry him and everything. That's what she wanted, that's what they talked about. But this friend also had someone from a past situation that kept coming around. She'd bump into him at parties and he made it clear what he wanted from her. She liked the attention. These two talked and saw each other every once in awhile, and she got her "fix"--she got the attention she wanted, even though it wasn't from her significant other.
Needless to say, the boyfriend had a "feeling" about things, but never actually knew anything. For months he just knew that something was going on, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Now I must say that the boyfriend did have his personal issues, including an issue of trusting women (and his girl wasn't helping). All of this was enough to cause a rift in the relationship (along with other things), and the friend and her boyfriend broke up. Last I heard, he's married.
Moral of this story: The attention that you feel you're not getting--express it to your mate. You'd be surprised to find that they don't even realize that you feel a certain way, and if it's a pretty good relationship otherwise, they'll probably get themselves together and do exactly what you've been missing. If not, then it probably wasn't the right relationship for you anyways!
2) ...others really wanted to explore what else was out there in the dating world while keeping someone close to home...
I've got another friend that started what we in Chicago like to call "talking" to two gentlemen around the same time. There was no commitment, and neither man thought they were in a relationship. Eventually sex became a part of both of these relationships, both men wanted more, and she had to choose. She chose who she felt was "safe", while the other continued to be clueless to her new relationship status. This actually went on for a couple of years, with the boyfriend turning out to not be what she needed in her life. The gentlemen left on the outside always kept in contact with my friend, and she actually found herself falling in love with the outsider. The problem? She had problems with being alone, and continued to deal with the boyfriend who had already proven that he was not the one for her. The outsider was told by my friend that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and respectfully tried to honor her feelings, but found himself falling for my friend as well. It was almost disclosed to this outsider that my friend was dating someone, but things were cleaned up pretty quickly, and no one was the wiser to the situation. Now my friend finds herself wanting to be with the man who used to be the outsider.
Here's the problem. I feel like she has created this situation that lacked honesty, and the entire thing may backfire in her face, it may not. I honestly don't know. But I wonder how can she have a healthy relationship with this man that used to be an outsider, when most of their relationship was built on lies that she told to keep him both at bay and on standby. Does she need to disclose her previous situation and let him know that she led him to believe that she wasn't ready for a relationship when she was in one the whole time? Or does she just need to keep it moving and build a relationship now, not worrying about the past and the lies she's had to tell?
3)...and some just really want to have sex.
Here's another friend. She was in a long term relationship for a considerable part of her young adult life. Things went sour, the relationship ended on bad terms after repeatedly trying to make it work. This friend went across the country to be with this man, so of course she moved back home once it was over. She's always been the type to attract men no matter where she is. She's a gorgeous woman. She doesn't always like the attention, and has taken drastic measures in the past to avoid getting attention. It still doesn't work. Nevertheless, she has returned home, attracting the attention of many men. She doesn't want a relationship, she doesn't want to be "tied down". She has been pretty open with me in that she knows whether she wants to sleep with someone, and that predicates whether she'll let a conversation go further than just "hello". So as of now, she's "just having fun", sleeping with whomever she wants, sometimes keeping someone around for long periods of time out of convenience.
So this is dangerous for so many reasons. I don't think I need to explain them all.
So what's the deal with us women? Is a fear thing that keeps us from being the jewels that we were made to be? What's going on? I have to say that part of the reason that our women go unchecked is because of the people surrounding them. True friends should check their friends when they get out of pocket or go off the deep end. The problem is that we don't. We try to sympathize, empathize, support, and sometimes even encourage our friends. We want to appear to be the friend that is there, but we're useless.
So after all that has been said, the moral of the story is: CHECK YOUR DAMN FRIENDS. THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS, BUT NOT CHECKING A FRIEND IS THE SAME AS AGREEING THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS OK. NOT SAYING SOMETHING SAYS SOMETHING.
DISCLAIMER: If any of the friends that I spoke about read this, you know who you are. I've done dumb things in my life, so I'm not perfect. This is more of a eye opener to re-evaluate the friends that you keep around you and not a condemnation of anyone.
That is all.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Why can't we let go, even when we let go?
And when I say WE, I mean women. We have this need to know everything about everything and everybody, even when that thing may not be the best thing for us and when that person has left our lives. We talk about people that have long ago become our past as if they were still an intricate part of our present. I was talking to one of my best friends today, and we talked about how every once in awhile she thought about a guy she used to date and wondered where he was in his life now. Not a wonder in the sense that she wanted to reconnect, but to see whether he had grown up or was still the same ass he was when they dated. No matter how that person treated us, me and my friend both agreed that we as women are more inclined to wonder about a past situation or a person from our past. Why can't we just move on?
On the other hand, we have men. Let's take my husband, for example. He is the type of person that if you screw him over, you're essentially dead to him. Loyalty is a prerequisite for being in his life. You have no existence past your usefulness. It's hard for him--as well as most men--to let a situation continue to happen to them when they already know the outcome. He's not going to keep someone around that shows that they are no good for him. Now don't get me wrong, women appreciate loyalty, but it is definitely weighed differently. My husband doesn't think about folks and situations from his past and wonder how things are now. There have been times when his past has somehow ended up in his present--but not by his choice or his doing.
Why can't we as women let go of things?
I think it's because of our nurturing spirits. We want to save the world and everything in it at all costs, even if it costs us our own peace of mind. I can't tell you how many times I continued to deal with folks that weren't really my friends, for reasons that I can't even find right now. We want everyone to be ok. We want everything to turn out well. Both me and my girl have been in some crazy situations, and dealt with some crazy people. But we both have also rearranged our lives, removed ourselves from crazy situations, and have let the crazies go as well. Neither one of us has ill will towards anyone in our past, but that doesn't mean that we want to sip Vanilla Chai Tea and catch up either.
National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 3.10.2010
Ok, so I definitely have not been blogging regularly. But this topic is worth coming out of a grad school application hibernation. If you didn't know by now, March 10, 2010 is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. HIV/AIDS is affecting women, and we need to be sure we have all of the facts instead of assuming and speculating. Folks over at The Red Pump Project have done a great job of getting out the facts about HIV/AIDS. I've taken some of those statistics and will share them here as well.
Folks over at Red Pump Project have a great campaign going on right now as well, 500 in 50. The purpose is to get 500 bloggers talking about HIV/AIDS by NWAGHAAD on March 10th. Be sure to show your support on Twitter with hashtag #500in50, as well as on your blogs and Facebook!!!
Here's some basic stats on HIV/AIDS that I pulled from The Red Pump Project website. Click here to get more facts about HIV/AIDS. Educate yourselves!!!
*Number of new HIV infections, 2006: 56,300
*Number of people living with HIV/AIDS: 1.1 million, including more than 468,000 with AIDS
*Number of AIDS deaths since beginning of epidemic: 583,298, including 14,561 in 2007
*Percent of people infected with HIV who don’t know it: 21%
Folks over at Red Pump Project have a great campaign going on right now as well, 500 in 50. The purpose is to get 500 bloggers talking about HIV/AIDS by NWAGHAAD on March 10th. Be sure to show your support on Twitter with hashtag #500in50, as well as on your blogs and Facebook!!!
Here's some basic stats on HIV/AIDS that I pulled from The Red Pump Project website. Click here to get more facts about HIV/AIDS. Educate yourselves!!!
*Number of new HIV infections, 2006: 56,300
*Number of people living with HIV/AIDS: 1.1 million, including more than 468,000 with AIDS
*Number of AIDS deaths since beginning of epidemic: 583,298, including 14,561 in 2007
*Percent of people infected with HIV who don’t know it: 21%
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The Hiatus is Over!! Kinda....
I know it has been awhile since I blogged. I'm not even sure if anyone even reads this or cares, but it sure as hell has been therapy for me....
Anyways, I'm back off of my hiatus, Thanksgiving was great--I got to see family I haven't seen in a while--and I didn't overindulge. Now I'm back in full force, trying to get this ONE grad school application done before the year is over. It's a damn shame that I have taken so long, especially since it is only ONE application. Well, I must give myself a little more credit. I have completed the majority of the application. Only thing that I am waiting for now are two of my three letters of recommendation, my transcripts, and the inspiration to write my statement of purpose. Give me a break, it takes time for the magic to work.
So, I guess this isn't really a true blog entry. I'll be back inspired and ready to write in a few days....
Anyways, I'm back off of my hiatus, Thanksgiving was great--I got to see family I haven't seen in a while--and I didn't overindulge. Now I'm back in full force, trying to get this ONE grad school application done before the year is over. It's a damn shame that I have taken so long, especially since it is only ONE application. Well, I must give myself a little more credit. I have completed the majority of the application. Only thing that I am waiting for now are two of my three letters of recommendation, my transcripts, and the inspiration to write my statement of purpose. Give me a break, it takes time for the magic to work.
So, I guess this isn't really a true blog entry. I'll be back inspired and ready to write in a few days....
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Regrets
There's a song by Letoya Luckett on the radio right now called Regret. It's definitely in high rotation, because every time I'm in the car I hear it at least twice (I'm not in the car but 20-30 minutes to and from work). The song is basically about a woman scorned who is somewhat taunting a former significant other. That significant other has done the woman wrong, had other women in her car, cheated on her, blah blah blah. The woman reminds her former lover that he wasn't much of anything before her, and that she made him the cool dude that he is today. The chorus goes a little something like this:
You must regret the day that you left me
You must regret the day that you left me
Still tryna get back, get back
Still tryna get back, back with me, oh
Still tryna get back, get back
Still tryna get back, back with me oh
Although Letoya is singing from a woman's perspective, this could definitely be a song from a man's perspective.
Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure that we all have regrets. We regret that person that we let get away. We regret that comment we made that cost us our friend, job, relationship, etc. We regret that decision we made that cost us everything. We regret that food we ate that got our stomach a-bubblin'. There's just so many regrets, and I in no way can quantify whether a regret is big or small. They all affect us in some way.
Some of my regrets: Letting my relationship with God fall to the side as a teen; Not telling my mom everything that was going on at school with teachers; Not telling my mom about certain things my dad did to make me dislike him even more; Shit, no telling my mom alot of things; Waiting so long to realize that I was incorrectly communicating with the opposite sex; Waiting so long to realize just exactly how dope I really am; Not being closer friends with my husband when we were in college.
The list goes on and on, but I'm sure you get my drift. We all have regrets, we all have things that we wish we could change. We all have things that we wish we would have never done or said.
Right now: What are you going to do now to make sure that you never make those mistakes again? Are you holding on to past regrets, or have you let them be a learning experience and moved on? I can honestly say that for the most part, I have definitely moved on. I still have issues with confidence, I still doubt myself sometimes. But I also catch myself having that lack of confidence and that doubt, and I do whatever is positive and in my ability to do in order to get out of that negative way of thinking. I cannot let past regrets and mistakes dictate what my future will look like. I can only accept that I messed up, and work on making my present and future better.
What are you doing? Are you holding on to past regrets? Or have you let your mistakes become your learning tools?
You must regret the day that you left me
You must regret the day that you left me
Still tryna get back, get back
Still tryna get back, back with me, oh
Still tryna get back, get back
Still tryna get back, back with me oh
Although Letoya is singing from a woman's perspective, this could definitely be a song from a man's perspective.
Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure that we all have regrets. We regret that person that we let get away. We regret that comment we made that cost us our friend, job, relationship, etc. We regret that decision we made that cost us everything. We regret that food we ate that got our stomach a-bubblin'. There's just so many regrets, and I in no way can quantify whether a regret is big or small. They all affect us in some way.
Some of my regrets: Letting my relationship with God fall to the side as a teen; Not telling my mom everything that was going on at school with teachers; Not telling my mom about certain things my dad did to make me dislike him even more; Shit, no telling my mom alot of things; Waiting so long to realize that I was incorrectly communicating with the opposite sex; Waiting so long to realize just exactly how dope I really am; Not being closer friends with my husband when we were in college.
The list goes on and on, but I'm sure you get my drift. We all have regrets, we all have things that we wish we could change. We all have things that we wish we would have never done or said.
Right now: What are you going to do now to make sure that you never make those mistakes again? Are you holding on to past regrets, or have you let them be a learning experience and moved on? I can honestly say that for the most part, I have definitely moved on. I still have issues with confidence, I still doubt myself sometimes. But I also catch myself having that lack of confidence and that doubt, and I do whatever is positive and in my ability to do in order to get out of that negative way of thinking. I cannot let past regrets and mistakes dictate what my future will look like. I can only accept that I messed up, and work on making my present and future better.
What are you doing? Are you holding on to past regrets? Or have you let your mistakes become your learning tools?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Alone With My Thoughts
I'm educated. I'm pretty smart. I'm in love and married to the man of my dreams. I'm in the process of filling out Grad School applications. I'm a good friend, great sister, and a damn good lover! What's my biggest problem though? My confidence. Now how could someone that speaks highly of herself have confidence issues? I'll tell you.
I second guess myself all the time.
I'll be so firm giving a friend advice, and in the next breath will question and re-evaluate everything I said. I'm so used to being around fickle people, that if I upset or frustrate my husband, I HAVE to ask him if he still likes me. This is something that I should already know without a shadow of a doubt. Sometimes I just think that I let my past dictate what I think people will feel now. I don't know. This was more of a post to get things out of my head rather than one to appease the readers. I'll be back soon with more...
I second guess myself all the time.
I'll be so firm giving a friend advice, and in the next breath will question and re-evaluate everything I said. I'm so used to being around fickle people, that if I upset or frustrate my husband, I HAVE to ask him if he still likes me. This is something that I should already know without a shadow of a doubt. Sometimes I just think that I let my past dictate what I think people will feel now. I don't know. This was more of a post to get things out of my head rather than one to appease the readers. I'll be back soon with more...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Scabs, Scars, and a Little Neosporin
I love the movie The Lion King for so many reasons. It shows that the things that you do, whether good or bad, can have long term effects on yourself, and on those around you. In the movie, there's Mufasa, King of the Pride Lands. He and his mate Sarabi have a newborn cub, Simba, who is next in line for the throne. Because he is jealous and wants to get the throne for himself, Mufasa's brother Scar sets in motion a plan that will end up with his brother dead and Simba presumed dead. Scar is then free to take the throne and become ruler of the Pride Lands. But Scar has left alot of dismay in his wake. Sarabi no longer has her mate or her son, Nala no longer has her friend Simba to play with, and no one besides Scar and his hyena minions is aware that Simba is actually alive!!! Scar has caused alot of damage in his desire to becoming king. Eventually Simba returns all grown up, everyone is pleased, and he and his uncle have a showdown. Scar admits to Simba that he killed his own brother, and that his minions--the hyenas--were not the culprits in Mufasa's murder. Simba throws Scar over the cliff, somewhat of a justice for him, as Scar had flung his own brother over a cliff and into a stampede. Scar is then devoured by the same hyenas that he had led, mistreated, and lied on. Scar wasn't a good brother, uncle, brother-in-law, or leader. He was more concerned with himself and a title. He wanted the title of king but didn't act like one. Because of his actions, Simba, Nala, Sarabi, and all of the Pride Lands were left with emotional scars, and Scar. He was the physical reminder of what the Pride Lands had lost.
We're not always aware of the scars that we have caused. Sometimes the scars are emotional or theoretical, something we can't physically see, but are definitely evident. I have a habit of cutting myself without knowing. I'll be getting ready for my day or winding down from my day and realize that a scab has started to form somewhere on my body. It's only then that I have to go back and think about my day and what could've caused the scab. I run into walls, scratched myself on random nails sticking out of doors, awakened to find that somehow, in my sleep, I had managed to cut myself.
After awhile, we know what these scabs do...they turn into scars. I have plenty. Scars that I've caused indirectly, by not paying attention to where I was going. Scars that I have caused directly, by doing something foolish that resulted in an encrustation somewhere on my person.
While drying off after a shower the other night (please try to stay focused, you may imagine me fresh out of the shower after you have read this post), I realized that a new scab was forming on my right foot. Once again, I had to think back to when I had done anything that would cause the scab. I remembered, a day or so before, that I had been trying to pick something up off of my bedroom floor and inadvertently banged the top of my foot on the ironing board. I also remembered the pain from the hit, the sting in the shower hours later (maintain your composure), andall of the profanity that spewed from my mouth asking my hubby to check it, disinfect it, and put a little Neosporin on it.
Now what does my clumsiness have to do with anything? I thought about it, and sometimes life is the exact same way. We've inadvertently done something, said something, or caused something that left a scar. Whether that scar was left on us or someone else, we sometimes forget about what originally happened. It may be the scar of past memories, or the scar of disappointment, or it just may be a actual, physical scar. We go through life clumsily, making the same mistakes over and over again, because we don't take the time to think about our words and our actions. We don't realize the damage we leave in our wake, as we trudge through life, doing whatever makes us feel good at the moment. We don't take into account the feelings of others when we make hateful comments. We don't think when we fly off the cuff as opposed to taking the time to sit back and assess a situation. Momma said it best, "Think before you speak."
Think before you speak, assess before you react, be observant of the things around you so that you don't leave scars. I can't say that everyone is perfect, or that you'll catch everything. There are so many things that happen in our lives, and we don't realize the damage we've done to ourselves, our lives, those around us, and even our future mate. Take the time to sit back and re-evaluate the things you've done. I will continue to do it as well. Have you made a comment to someone and they now avoid you every chance they get? Have you been careless with your heart, giving away the best parts of you to people that haven't deserved it? Have you written something that you can't take back, but you feel remorseful for it? Apologize, be more selective, be careful! You never know where you may be leaving scars.
After awhile, we know what these scabs do...they turn into scars. I have plenty. Scars that I've caused indirectly, by not paying attention to where I was going. Scars that I have caused directly, by doing something foolish that resulted in an encrustation somewhere on my person.
While drying off after a shower the other night (please try to stay focused, you may imagine me fresh out of the shower after you have read this post), I realized that a new scab was forming on my right foot. Once again, I had to think back to when I had done anything that would cause the scab. I remembered, a day or so before, that I had been trying to pick something up off of my bedroom floor and inadvertently banged the top of my foot on the ironing board. I also remembered the pain from the hit, the sting in the shower hours later (maintain your composure), and
Now what does my clumsiness have to do with anything? I thought about it, and sometimes life is the exact same way. We've inadvertently done something, said something, or caused something that left a scar. Whether that scar was left on us or someone else, we sometimes forget about what originally happened. It may be the scar of past memories, or the scar of disappointment, or it just may be a actual, physical scar. We go through life clumsily, making the same mistakes over and over again, because we don't take the time to think about our words and our actions. We don't realize the damage we leave in our wake, as we trudge through life, doing whatever makes us feel good at the moment. We don't take into account the feelings of others when we make hateful comments. We don't think when we fly off the cuff as opposed to taking the time to sit back and assess a situation. Momma said it best, "Think before you speak."
Think before you speak, assess before you react, be observant of the things around you so that you don't leave scars. I can't say that everyone is perfect, or that you'll catch everything. There are so many things that happen in our lives, and we don't realize the damage we've done to ourselves, our lives, those around us, and even our future mate. Take the time to sit back and re-evaluate the things you've done. I will continue to do it as well. Have you made a comment to someone and they now avoid you every chance they get? Have you been careless with your heart, giving away the best parts of you to people that haven't deserved it? Have you written something that you can't take back, but you feel remorseful for it? Apologize, be more selective, be careful! You never know where you may be leaving scars.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
BALLS OF THE WEEK #2...BEYONCE
Balls of the Week is a series here on Finding Me. I will be talking about someone on a level of dopeness not obtained by most. It's about the folks that step outside of what is expected of them and reach for something higher. It's about the folks that don't settle for normal. Normal is boring....
Ok, there's probably a MILLION reasons that we could think of for Mrs. Knowles-Carter and why she's dope. Whether you like her, love her, hate her, or could care less, Beyonce's got balls.
Really, I think Beyonce' has the potential to become as big as Miss Tina Turner (minus the beatdowns). If Tina announced that she wanted to ever do a tour again, TRUST, she would sell out. I think that Beyonce' could achieve that type of status in her lifetime. Let's ignore Bey's penchant for the five thousand dollar lace front wigs and onesies for a moment. She's talented, has CRAZY stage presence, and is a dope entertainer. I've got Destiny's Child Destiny Fulfilled tour and both of Bey's previous tours on DVD. Beyonce/Sasha definitely has a big personality on stage. Now I can't say that I connect with her music all the time, but I must admit, most of it is definitely catchy. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I still break out all of my dance moves when Get Me Bodied comes on.
But here's my real reason why I think Beyonce' is deserving of the Balls of the Week title. This woman basically said "Ok, it's me, and two other chicks doing all of my videos for this album. We don't need all those extras. They can just look at us dancing for 3 and a half minutes."
REALLY BEY? You just gonna forsake all those video chicks and attention loving extras, the ones that need the money during these times of recession? Is that how you feel? You and two chicks (One is still questionable, I SWEAR that the lil dark-skinned onehad a penis when it was born is a dude.) just out there gettin' it IN, just simple sets and your background dancers. Well, some could argue that it's just like Destiny's Child days, when Bey was front and center and Michelle and Kelly (and the other former members) lacked any relevance, they were just there to make Bey look good. Whatever the feeling, Bey is hot, Bey is fierce, and not many folks can just say "hey, let's just make this a video with just me and some other chicks dancing." So for that reason, Mrs. Knowles-Carter, I salute you, you've got the Balls of the Week.
Ok, there's probably a MILLION reasons that we could think of for Mrs. Knowles-Carter and why she's dope. Whether you like her, love her, hate her, or could care less, Beyonce's got balls.
Really, I think Beyonce' has the potential to become as big as Miss Tina Turner (minus the beatdowns). If Tina announced that she wanted to ever do a tour again, TRUST, she would sell out. I think that Beyonce' could achieve that type of status in her lifetime. Let's ignore Bey's penchant for the five thousand dollar lace front wigs and onesies for a moment. She's talented, has CRAZY stage presence, and is a dope entertainer. I've got Destiny's Child Destiny Fulfilled tour and both of Bey's previous tours on DVD. Beyonce/Sasha definitely has a big personality on stage. Now I can't say that I connect with her music all the time, but I must admit, most of it is definitely catchy. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I still break out all of my dance moves when Get Me Bodied comes on.
But here's my real reason why I think Beyonce' is deserving of the Balls of the Week title. This woman basically said "Ok, it's me, and two other chicks doing all of my videos for this album. We don't need all those extras. They can just look at us dancing for 3 and a half minutes."
REALLY BEY? You just gonna forsake all those video chicks and attention loving extras, the ones that need the money during these times of recession? Is that how you feel? You and two chicks (One is still questionable, I SWEAR that the lil dark-skinned one
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
BRANDY!
So I don't know how much anyone knows about me and my husband's musical taste, but one thing we both agree on is that Brandy is dope! Half the chicks that are out right now couldn't do what they do had it not been for Ms. Norwood. Here's Brandy in a new element, something you may not have expected from her. I think it's pretty good.
Enjoy!!
Enjoy!!
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