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I hate traffic. That is the one thing in my life that I can truly say that I hate. If you know me and you know my husband, he can definitely tell you that hate is not a word I take lightly. Anyways, traffic is just this unnecessary thing. People don't know where they're going, don't know what they're doing, don't know how to merge, don't know how to use signals....they just don't know. I get frustrated cuz I've only been driving (legally) since I was 20, and I feel like I drive better than folks that have been on the road way longer than me. There's all these unnecessary accidents and all these fuels are letting toxins into the earth's atmosphere. Not to mention that stopping and then going and then stopping and then going and then...well, it's not fun. Personally, my feet and legs cramp, I get sleepy, and I get irritated. It's so much more relaxing when you're in traffic and you're just a passenger, cuz then you can just be an annoying backseat driver relax.
Life is simpler when there is less traffic. I made a phone call today, and while waiting for the person to answer, I got to listen to Kanye's Love Lockdown:
"I'm not loving you/the way I wanted to/What I had to do/had to run from you/I'm in love with you/but the vibe is wrong/And that haunted me/all the way home/So ya never know/never never know/Never know enough/ til it's over love/Til we lose control/system overload/Screaming no no no, no no.
I ain't loving you/the way I wanted to/See I wanna move/but can't escape from you/So I keep it low/keep a secret code/So everybody else don't have to know
So keep ya love locked down/ya love locked down (Repeat 2x)
You keep ya love locked down/you lose.
I'm not loving you/the way I wanted to/I can't keep my cool/so I keep it true/I got something to lose/so I gotta move/I can't keep myself/and still keep you too/So I keep in mind/when I'm on my own/Somewhere far from home/in the danger zone/How many times did it take til I finally got through/You lose/you lose
See I had to go/see I had to go/No more wasting time/we can't wait for life/Which is wasting time/where's the finish line
[chorus]
I'm not loving you/the way I wanted to/I met no one new/I got no one new/No I said I'm through/but got love for you/But I'm not loving you/the way I wanted to/Gotta keep it going/keep the loving going/Keep it on a roll/only God knows/Am I into you/baby I'm confused/You choose/you choose
I ain't loving you/the way I wanted to/Way I got to go/I don't need you/I been on this road/too many times before/I ain't loving you/the way I wanted to
[chorus]
So keep ya love locked down/ya love locked down/Keeping ya love locked down/ya love locked down/If you keep ya love locked down/ya love locked down/Keeping ya love locked down/you lose
Ok. So I know you didn't ask for me to recite Kanye's "Love Lockdown",nor did you ask me about my feelings on traffic. Just wait, I'ma connect it all. To me, the song sounds like a tale of trying to make a relationship work that for whatever reasons, just won't. Either this is the tale of a man who just couldn't get himself together, couldn't make the relationship work. OR this is the tale of man that was getting himself together and realized that in getting himself together, the relationships around him were changing or diminishing. Either way, relationships weren't working.
The word "love" is a big part of the song, seen/heard multiple times in the lyrics and even in the song's title. The lyrics made me think of how people sometimes mistakenly use the words "sex" and "love" interchangeably. There's countless sexually driven songs about a woman giving her "loving" to her man or someone else's man, or a man wanting his woman's "loving"or the "loving" of someone else, and absolutely none of it has to do with the true definition/meaning of love. I can't say what Kanye was feeling when he wrote this song, because I wasn't there, I didn't talk to him or get the chance to ask him. But the first thing I thought of today when I heard the song on the phone was that if folks just kept their "love" on lockdown, society as a whole would be in a better place. Folks wouldn't think it was ok to jump from bed to bed to make themselves feel good. Sex wouldn't just be this thing people use as a coping mechanism. Sex wouldn't be used as a tool in climbing the corporate ladder. People wouldn't have to tell their partner about all the previous partners they had, cuz there wouldn't be any. People wouldn't have to be scared of a STI test, cuz they hadn't done anything to contract a disease. Relationships that otherwise could have or would have worked end up falling apart because folks can't get over the fact that their partner has been with other people.
I've been married for almost a year now, and I realize that some things would be so much more simple had my husband and I had no previous sexual partners. Neither one of us is the jealous type, nor do either of us have pages upon pages of partners. The issue is that someone else got something before either of us got to experience each other. Now I'm not lying to my husband when I tell him he's the Best I've Ever Had (thanks, Drake), but there's still going to be the fact that he's not my first, nor am I his. I just think that life is simpler when there's less traffic.
AAAAAAHHHHHH, so THAT'S what this has to do with traffic!
Yep, it all connects now, right? No matter how you look at it, traffic is this noisome, bothersome pest that keeps people tense and on edge, just like a person having multiple sex buddies would understandably make that person's new partner on edge. I say all of this to get to a point. Whether you call it your "love" or just plain out call it sex, it's not meant to have heavy traffic. It's too special for all of those ins and outs, detours, heavy constructions and potholes. Folks can't "love you the way they wanted to," because in the back of their mind, they're still thinking about all the other folks, and whether they measure up to your past. Keep your "love locked down" or, "you lose."
My hubby, King Kito, has a blog on here too. Go check out King Kito's blog page as well. He's dope.
"They're mentors, like it or not. They are mentors, and they need to show their good side."
This was a statement made by Pamela Eyring, director of the Protocol School of Washington in response to the behavior of Joe Wilson, Kanye West, Serena Williams, and any other public figure/celebrity/athlete that has or will behave in a manner that most would deem unacceptable.
Here's my problem.
Why do we look to these public figures as mentors? I get the idea that they are in a prominent place, and that children and teens alike can look to them as examples of hard work, dedication, etc. But what about the mom that works two jobs, goes to school and takes care of her kids on a daily basis? What about the doctor who has spent hours and years perfecting his specialty in order to become the best in his field? What about all the countless everyday men and women who bust their asses to be the best?
We have sensationalized people in the public eye to a point where our children ONLY look to them for examples, ONLY use them as role models. I remember, growing up and wanting to be like my Aunt Denise. She was cool, calm, took care of her family, and didn't care what anyone thought about her. I can recall a specific instance where I broke down and started crying because I was stressed out about my family. Denise told me: "You tell them to go to hell. If it's not your grandma or your mama, you tell them to go to hell. No one should have you stressing like that."
I wish there were more people in our children's lives that our children COULD look up to--I'm tired of hearing kids talk about how all they want to do is play ball or be a star. Now don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do those things, but what children fail to realize is that these people in the spotlight WORKED HARD. Some children have delusions of grandeur where everything happens overnight and all is handed to them without any type of work. Children also tend to emulate what they see on television, in movies, etc. because they believe that is how the real world works. I love when folks get a dose of reality.
We need to talk to our own children, encourage their dreams, but don't let them think anything worth having comes easy. Yeah, they may have the talent, but they still need to WORK. Having a personal mentor that just happens to be famous is cool, but how many kids can actually say that their mentor is Pharrell Williams or Sean P. Diddy Combs? So I say it's cool to look up to those folks that set a good example, but we gotta make sure our kids have everyday heroes to look up to as well. Find Yoself!!!
Great, I have your attention. In some folks' eyes, I may be late, but I work on my own time.
Events that took place at this year's VMAs have had people talking, twittering, debating, and blogging all week. The immediate response to Kanye's behavior was emminent, when there's a social network like Twitter available and everyone can update instantly. I was a little behind on the happenings of the show, as neither myself nor my husband like commercials, and thus we started watching the show on DVR about an hour or so after it started. I had to stop checking my Twitter once folks started talking--all I knew when I shut down my Twitter was that Kanye did SOMETHING. I wanted to see what was going on as it happened on my DVR, so all cellular communications ceased momentarily.
Nevertheless, by now, we know what happened. Taylor Swift won an award over Beyonce' and other nominees, Kanye felt like Mrs. Knowles-Carter should have won, and thus proceeded to take the mic out of the country teen's hand and express his feelings on national television for the entire viewer audience to see.
Now I have gone back and forth with my opinions on Mr. West's behavior. At first, I thought the entire thing was bogus. I wasn't talking about going out and lynching the man, but I thought it was bogus. As time passed and I could process and develop my opinion on what happened, I came to this conclusion: he chose the WRONG time to make a CORRECT observation.
There are so many arguments to be had with the behavior of Kanye West.
1) The artist community should support each other, therefore there should be no disrespect amongst them: Kanye was disrespectful to a fellow artist. (Sidenote: An artist can respect another artist, but respecting that artist's work is a different story--I can't get down to SouljaBoy, OJ the Juiceman, among some other folks. I just can't go)
Ok, continue...
2)Kanye made a correct observation, and his timing made for a more entertaining show.
3)Kanye made a correct observation, but should have chosen a more appropriate time to make his assertion.
4)Kanye is arrogant and took away from a teenage star's moment in the spotlight.
I could go on and on but you get the gist....
Did anyone notice how Jack Black encouraged the audience to pray and then led them in a prayer to Satan? Or that Russell Brand referenced his genitalia on more than one occasion? Or that crazy ass Lady Gaga finished her performance with an onstage "suicide"?
All of these things go unchecked, yet people want to call Kanye all out his name because of his behavior. Now I'm not condoning drunkenness, but did anyone check out the red carpet picks of Mr. West and his boo Amber Rose? Did you notice the bottle of Hennesy in the man's hand? If it was all B.S. , Kanye could have taken this time to yes, blame it on the alcohol. Did he? No. He has written more than one blog and apologized on national television for his behavior. Get over it.
The VMAs started with Madonna paying tribute to Michael Jackson. In her speech, she made a comment to the affect that so many crucified MJ while he was alive, yet no one took the time to recognize the struggles that the man had (i.e. not having a childhood, searching for childhood as an adulthood, etc.). The gist of Madonna's dedication to MJ was to appreciate folks while they are on earth, so they know that they ARE appreciated. Madonna started the night off on a good note and everyone was so happy and clapping for her speech, but the application of her message went right out of the window as soon as Kanye stepped on stage.
Did Kanye make a mistake? Yes. But who hasn't? Don't you want to be forgiven when you disappoint others? Yes. So why have so many people abandoned a fellow artist and taken to degrading him on Twitter and other social networks in his time of need? Kanye's main support system is no longer with him (his mom), and he's dating a very open and self-admitted "crazy bisexual". Furthermore, he is an artist, and more than likely does not have a regular 9-5 work day like most folks. How steady do you think his life is right now? Let's back away from judging this man, pray for him, and hope that he gets all the help that he needs. We talk a good game about support and community, but it sounds like a lot of gibberish right now. I don't think I want some folks behind me if I ever get outta pocket....
Dear Sleep,
We've had a love/hate relationship for years. I've been trying to decide if you have a personal vendetta against me, or if this is just something that randomly occurred. For years now, our on again, off again relationship has been tumultuous. I'm sleeping through the noise and the rain one night, the next I'm tossing and turning, hearing all of the sounds of the night through my window. In the past few months, I know my life has changed drastically, and this is the time when I truly needed you. You have failed me sleep. How could you? I thought we had gotten over our drama filled past and decided to look forward to all the good times we would have in the future. I was wrong. Now as I sit at my desk, looking forward to the next three hours of work (feel the sarcasm), I am most disappointed with you. After a long weekend and a husband gone for most of it, I expected YOU to be there!
This is going to take a lot of groveling for you to make it up to me, I hope you're ready for it. Start making plans.
Yours truly,
MyDearAdia
They say if you love someone you should let them go, and if they come back, they're yours forever.
I say that's a load of garbage.
Now I know you might say, "well it might not be the right timing" or "they may need time apart to grow" or "blah blah blah, (enter excuse here)".
The way I see it, if you love someone, you hold on for dear life. Not in the sense of being a Grade A stalker or McClingy, but along the idea that you shouldn't just let a good thing walk out because you don't know what to do. Now, after hours and days and months and years of trying to work it out and nothing happens, OK, I kinda get letting go. But if you just wake up one morning and decide that you don't want to be someone's significant other--c'mon!!!! I get that some people just weren't meant to be together in the first place--but that's their own damn fault for going with all emotion and no logic. When you're in a relationship, you are making decisions for two, not just you! Man/woman-up and get yourself together! Letting go without a fight is for sissies.
That is all.
