Why can't we let go, even when we let go?

And when I say WE, I mean women. We have this need to know everything about everything and everybody, even when that thing may not be the best thing for us and when that person has left our lives. We talk about people that have long ago become our past as if they were still an intricate part of our present. I was talking to one of my best friends today, and we talked about how every once in awhile she thought about a guy she used to date and wondered where he was in his life now. Not a wonder in the sense that she wanted to reconnect, but to see whether he had grown up or was still the same ass he was when they dated. No matter how that person treated us, me and my friend both agreed that we as women are more inclined to wonder about a past situation or a person from our past. Why can't we just move on?

On the other hand, we have men. Let's take my husband, for example. He is the type of person that if you screw him over, you're essentially dead to him. Loyalty is a prerequisite for being in his life. You have no existence past your usefulness. It's hard for him--as well as most men--to let a situation continue to happen to them when they already know the outcome. He's not going to keep someone around that shows that they are no good for him. Now don't get me wrong, women appreciate loyalty, but it is definitely weighed differently. My husband doesn't think about folks and situations from his past and wonder how things are now. There have been times when his past has somehow ended up in his present--but not by his choice or his doing.

Why can't we as women let go of things?

I think it's because of our nurturing spirits. We want to save the world and everything in it at all costs, even if it costs us our own peace of mind. I can't tell you how many times I continued to deal with folks that weren't really my friends, for reasons that I can't even find right now. We want everyone to be ok. We want everything to turn out well. Both me and my girl have been in some crazy situations, and dealt with some crazy people. But we both have also rearranged our lives, removed ourselves from crazy situations, and have let the crazies go as well. Neither one of us has ill will towards anyone in our past, but that doesn't mean that we want to sip Vanilla Chai Tea and catch up either.